Conservatives who want young adults to remain chaste and also to delay marriage are, I think, bonkers, and finally, some other conservatives are agreeing with me. The article linked to below makes an excellent case for encouraging young marriage.
The author writes about the importance of family support, and that really is crucial. American culture would be so much healthier if marrying young wasn’t forwned on in so many circles, but most 19 year old guys are not capable of supporting a family. In some areas, most 19 year old couples are not capable of supporting themselves.
One of my cousins had two kids, a boy and a girl very close in age, who both married as teenagers. My cousin is far from welathy-he is a truck driver, but he and his wife owned a two family home, and both young couples lived in that home and worked to save money. Over twenty years later, his kids are very successful. They didn’t need a ton of financial help, they just needed a little, and a little bit of help made all the difference.
Isn’t it strange that some well off parents are eager to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on higher education for their adult children, but will not spend one thin dime to help their adult children get married at what for most of human history would be considered a normal age?
Why are so many people so oppoesed to young people getting married?
I’ve been saying this for years. I had a sixteen year old pro bono client ages ago, for whom I was obtaining “emancipated minor” status, because she was pregnant and wanted to marry the dad. But her mom was…idk, crazy, drugged out, for some reason she couldn’t get parental consent to marry. She called me one Monday AM and gleefully reported that she had given birth—she was having a little back pain Friday, went to the ER, and a few hours later:👶! Now, that’s how to do it.
Another thing: if a couple marries very young, before either of them has much property or income, divorce could not be simpler. They could get out of it in 3 months just by signing a few papers.
So what is wrong with these maternal grandparents? (I say that because we never seem to hear a peep outta the boy and his family) GET married, give the baby a name, you’ll be no worse off if it doesn’t work out.
Back in the 60s,( y’know, 1968-1976) or so, kids resented being told they were “too young” for anything. Now, they resent being told they’re old enough for anything.
I agree with every word of this. I hope I can see the comments she’s gonna get. ( I could practically write those, too,I’ve gotten so much pushback for my views on this subject!) Thanks for this! Maybe people are finally beginning to gat the right idea: mine!
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“Maybe people are finally beginning to gat the right idea: mine!”
Lol 🙂 You are too funny, Hypatia 🙂
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This is the tweet which led me to the article. There were a lot of comments, and most are in support of young marriage. Hopefully, some Americans are coming to their senses!
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Wait , so the problem is a parent should not be pro-chastity?
I doubt any parents are, although maybe things have changed in the last 15 years since my kid was in middle school; then, we parents were told: they’re ALL having sex, be cool, just tell them to “be safe”. ( HA! “Safe sex” is an oxymoron if i ever heard one..) We were told that if we expected, or worse, instructed, our kids to abstain, we were delusional, and very likely doing them incalculable damage, PLUS they were gonna do it anyway. “Pro-chastity” ? Who (among the living) is he talking about? Or did I miss sump’n , are “conservatives” now again promoting it?
So it seems he’s saying, YES! have sex as early as you want—but then,,marry that person!
What? Marry the first person you have had sex with? I mean that’s ok, but it should be the other way around. . Because, if you don’t marry whoever takes your virginity male or female, then we’re back to promiscuity, which will lead to delaying marriage.
I was so scared about the sink of iniquity which was middle school that I did everything wrong. I talked to my kid in the car, which they say you shouldn’t do because the kid may feel trapped, can’t get away ( um…yes—duh!) AND I said: sex is a wonderful beautiful fun activity but it is NOT for people 12, 13, 14..it just isn’t, and don’t let anybody tell you it is.
How hopelessly antiquarian! But she did remain a virgin until sophomore year of college (like I did) so…I can’t stay mad at me.
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Ok. 🙂 MIchael Foster is a very conservative Christian pastor, so he is saying that young people should abstain from sex until marriage, but should generally get married at young ages. The conservative Christians I am aware of-both Protestant and Catholic-have always supported abstinence, but in many cases, they don’t support young marriage. Laura Schlesinger was dead set against anyone marrying before age 30, and she was also brutal with those who had sex before marriage. She really, seriously believed that people in their late teens and twenties should just work and focus on their careers, and not even think about sex until age 30. She seriously believed that. She was an extreme case, but there were a lot of conservatives who were not far behind her in terms of insanity, and some people still support prolonged abstinence far into adulthood.
Pastor Foster is just speaking common sense: if you want young people to be virgins on their wedding night, then encourage them to marry young. His own wife was 19 when they got married: he was in his early twenties.
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Maybe the idea of humanity as a “cancer” on the planet, aka Mother Gaia, is taking hold? I’m for chastity prior to marriage, by the way. I’m also for adoption, if one has delayed marriage beyond child-bearing peak years.)
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The idea that everybody should always delay marriage was hatched by the population controllers, which is to say, it comes from the darkest pit of hell. These folks definitely see humanity as a cancer on the planet, and everything they do is aimed at making sure that there are fewer of us.
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Agree completely, JaC!
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And another thing: this idea that you can’t or shouldn’t get married until and unless somebody is able and willing to spend at least 30,000 on a wedding is beyond ridiculous. We should be encouraging inexpensive weddings, or just no wedding party at all, depending on what people’s preferences are.
You can get a beautiful dress for a couple of hundred dollars, and throw a BBQ in the backyard or a park. My extended family is so large that my younger cousins are either doing destination weddings, which very few family members can attend, or they are just foregoing the party altogether, because they can’t afford to throw a party for that many people. And they are far better off financially than most people are.
We put far too much emphasis on the wedding, and not nearly enough on the marriage.
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I read that the wedding has to be a big deal now, because nothing really changes afterward. The wedding, big or small, used to mark a huge life change: you’d move in together, travel together, have sex…..now, couples have probably been doing all that for years before they marry. Even the proposal now has to be a big deal, staged as a “surprise” fir the girl, even though the couple has already agreed on everything. It all seems so asinine. But hey, that’s the fashion now. I hope I live long enough to see my daughter go through it all.
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Amen! May you live to be a hundred!
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And another thing 🙂 In my perfect world, there would be no such thing as an engagement ring. The idea that no man can even think of proposing marriage until he is willing and able spend thousands of dollars on an effing diamond is also an idea from the lowest pit of hell. I never had an engagement ring, and I did just fine without one 🙂 My plain wedding band cost 30 dollars from Hannoush. I treasure it.
Some of the younger people from humble beginnings are putting off marriage because they have bought into the idea that they need an expensive ring and and expensive party. It’s ridiculous.
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