For Mom ‘n’ Dad

As I pass through life, I think about what may parents were like at the age I’ve reached. How they looked, was their handsomeness/ beauty still visible? Oh God, what must they have thought of me? (Sorry about last, but my parents were Titans, ok?)
Anyway, I’m sure this will accelerate until I reach the age at which they died (If I do 🤞) . And then I’ll start thinking more about, like, what if I meet them again in death?

Personally I think we probably do encounter the people who have been important to us in life in our last few mortal moments, just as it’s ending. I’ve heard that dying people talk to other, long-dead people. We might think there wouldn’t be time to encounter very many out of all the people we’ve known, but that’s the thing about time: it doesn’t exist in eternity; and/or, if you prefer, it doesn’t exist in dream states. A long, seemingly interminable dream may sometimes take place in only minutes, seconds.

What will they, my parents, say to me then, about what I perceive to be my failures, my fatal omissions, my wrong decisions?

I used to imagine censure. I used to imagine they’d say I did wrong and they would’ve done right in the situation.

But now…I don’t know. Now, for unknown reasons, I picture them ….chuckling. “Oh, Loudie! YOU tried handling it that way, I don’t know what I’d have done in that situation! Well, you did what you thought was best, like I’da done….It was fun watching!”

And will that encounter be all, then? After that, oblivion? Or will I be able to visit them occasionally, to “go home” as I frequently did in life?

I think Heaven must be like being in love. And by “in love”I mean that particular state we enter, but in which, in mortal existence, we can’t remain—although love itself does remain, of course, just, it changes into its work clothes,—and grows, if we’re lucky. But “in love” is like in Donne’s poem The Good Morrow:” For love, all love of other sights controls/And makes one little room an everywhere.” Not only an everyWHERE, but an EveryTIME, an eternity. That first stage of love is extra-temporal, as Heaven must be.

These are the eternal mysteries of the human condition. It’s sad to think we learn and grow so much, only to be snuffed out.

13 thoughts on “For Mom ‘n’ Dad

  1. My mother insisted I dressed properly and had regular hair/nail appts and her proudest moment was when I had TWO prom dates! The notations on the back of the Polaroids still make me laugh- “2 dates” !!

    Dad insisted upon GPA and SAT scores to get me into a top notch school and he didn’t even wait for me to come home from classes to open the admissions letters. Sigh… There was no point in telling him how inappropriate this was as – because let us be frank- he was paying the bills.

    Fast forward to the first time he visited my husband and me in SoCal in our new 4500 sq foot home. He didn’t know what to make of this because I was the girl child and did better than the boy. But I worked harder and I think that bothered him. ):

    Liked by 3 people

    1. So…your mom is still here, in this vale of tears with us. But do you think you will encounter your father again—even if you think it’ would be only a trick of your dying, oxygen-starved brain? What would he say to you? And it is any different that what you might have imagined he’d say 20 years ago?

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Sometimes the French express it better! For instance, they use the term “je ne sais quoi” (that indescribable something) to describe an attractive female we would describe as an “It” girl. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There are dimensions I have visited (not always via pharmaceuticals) that in no way could have been dream worlds. Keep the faith, fight the good fight, and avoid doing what the “Tao” identifies to your spirit being as evil. Your afterlife will find your soul in a constant state of joy unspeakable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Do you mean via meditation?
      Once I experienced what is called the Golden Vision. It sounds trite to describe it…’one with the Universe’ type of thing.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do meditate but usually it is focused on finding peace on some issue which has caused a disturbance with my ‘zen’/ peace of mind.

        More later. Have to run out to pick up a food order.

        Like

      2. I will look forward to that. Bon appetit!
        I have never set out to meditate . I just for a few minutes found myself..transported to that state.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I will share more of this in your presence when plied with wine from your cellar. To reveal too much would certainly prevent the 100s of daily lurkers from following and commenting because, you know, spiritual.

        The first time realized there were other dimensions is when I observed the surgeons working on my dead or as good as dead body in the operating room. The second was with my now deceased best friend, Christian Hirsch. We both experienced the same event when we were together but did not dare mention it to the other for nearly 24 hours. The third notable extradimensional experience was what ‘church people’ would call a dream visitation.

        I would be glad to discuss all of these with you in great detail in person and/or the privacy of your estate.

        Liked by 1 person

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