Compassion for Those Suffering From Gender Dysphoria

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Today, I read that the actress Ellen Page has had her breasts removed. Whenever I read about “transgender” people mutilating themselves, I feel like I am being kicked in the stomach. I cannot imagine the agony they must be experiencing, for them to go to the lengths they go to. Even worse, many end up finding that “gender reassignment” surgery does not help them, and they end up regretting the surgery.

This is one account of such regret: https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/voices/2019/02/11/transgender-debate-transitioning-sex-gender-column/1894076002/

The Medical Establishment has much to answer for.

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Published by Judy Campbell

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62 thoughts on “Compassion for Those Suffering From Gender Dysphoria”

  1. Compassion and empathy, for certain, JaC! I feel this way when I see references to “trans-abled” – those with bodily-integrity identity disorder (biid) – people; who request/demand that amputations, spinal injuries, blindness, be medically achieved, so that their physical state matches their mental self-perception! Here’s an article, by Wesley J. Smith:

    https://www.nationalreview.com/human-exceptionalism/transgender-enables-transable-wesley-j-smith/

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      1. AMEN, a thousand times, AMEN….Isn’t this what occasional cross-dressing was for, back in the days of old, seriously?

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    2. I’ve been writing about this trans-abled stuff for years. When you cut off or surgically injure a healthy body part or organ, that is mayhem, and it’s a crime whether you did it to collect insurance or because you “identify” as blind or deaf or paralyzed. I cannot believe the medical profession is complicit in this.

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      1. It’s relatively new to me, Hyp, and *mystifying*. Once, as freshman in college, I encountered someone who’d identified (serially) as: hearing-impaired, paraplegic, and ultimately, merely actively homosexual. Our “house chaplain” – the Melkite monk friend I may’ve mentioned once or twice – wisely felt it was occasioned by the status accorded certain folks on a Seventies-era college campus. The Brother caught him putting on a fellow-student’s leg-length braces; called the dean of discipline, packed this fellow’s clothes, called his parents to pick him up immediately, and personally escorted him out of the dorm and off the campus. How far we’ve sunk as a society, yes?

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      2. Yes. I think this transabled thing is sexual fetishism, pure’n’ simple. Instead of high heeled shoes or women’s underwear, the guy you mentioned was sexually excited by leg braces. I’ve red a lot about this. They never “identify” as having some quotidian, unpleasant disease like diabetes. It’s always I wanna be blind, deaf, paralyzed. I read an account by one man whose fantasy was the trappings of paralysis. He said he put on an adult diaper and settled into a wheelchair, just to see what it was like, but he was so turned on he couldn’t pee.
        I read about one woman whose fantasy was to be blind. Her psychologist coached her as she poured drain cleaner into her eyes .
        I don’t know if these people still have websites up. My impression is it became much harder to find them once the transsexual movement really got started: they didn’t want people making the obvious parallel. But at one point I read a blog entry by a woman who wrote how much she envied her fellow fetishists who,were wealthy enough to afford a wheelchair . She apologized for her covetousness.
        Compared to to this kinda shit, sex change surgery is almost mild. And then at the other end of the spectrum, we have the various cosmetic surgeries which everybody accepts as commonplace, nose jobs, breast reduction.The thin end of the wedge: , when surgical mutilation became something a healthy person could buy on a whim.
        But here’s the thing about fetishism: it used to be a SECRET pleasure. And the fact that nobody knew the distinguished looking grey haired lawyer was wearing lacy panties or the demure housewife had a collection of whips was part of the frisson! Why don’t these people just keep a package of adult diapers or a leg brace in the back of their closets and put ‘em on when they want an orgasm? Nah, now we ALL have yo look at them and actually celebrate their deviance, like with “Dr.” “Rachel” Levine, formerly our incompetent secretary of health in Pa , now plucked up to the federal level to serve in Ol’ Jo{k}e’s cabinet. The sight of him(yes, ‘him’,so sue me~~oh wait, they actually can, now) makes me want to throw the fuck up.

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      3. Absolutely so, all these months of watching him ‘n’ Wolfie daily made me want to upchuck….Is it me, or was “Christine” (George) Jorgenson prettier than Levine or Jenner? Singularly ugly, unhappy people – whom feminists abhor, actually….Basta!

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  2. The actress Ellen ( now calling herself Elliot) Page just had her breasts chopped off. It’s too terrible. And when I think of the many women with breast cancer who would give anything to avoid this kind of surgery, I wish I could slap her and the surgeon who mutilated her.
    Here’s the funny thing: a few years ago everybody was all incensed about the African customs of female genital mutilation. But what Page did is different how? And why aren’t people who would be horrified at the thought of castration to preserve a man’s soprano voice equally appalled by Bruce Jenner gelding himself?

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    1. But if we question any of this, we “have blood on our hands.” Anyone who is against people mutilating themselves is basically a murderer, according to trans acitivists. This is what hysteria looks like.

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  3. And, how happy are Mr. Jenner and Ms. Page for all that? They still need their psychiatrists and anti-depressants along with the hormones, right?

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    1. There is help for those suffering with gender dysphoria: https://sexchangeregret.com/

      A long time ago, a psychologist told me that every single solitary case of male cross dressing he had ever encountered involved a man whose mother had dressed him as a girl when he was a child. The website linked to above is run by a man who had surgery in an attempt to become a woman, but then regretted it. He now devotes his life to helping others who struggle with this problem. According to him, it is caused by childhood trauma-his grandmother dressed him as a girl when he was a child. There is help, but surgery and hormones are not the way to deal with this.

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      1. I’m familiar with the site – and the gentleman – JaC. I admire his work greatly, and I’m so glad he’s out there attempting to address the wreckage left behind by this faddish fascination with “gender” decoupled from the biology of “sex”. Bless him and those like him, who stand for reality. Especially when it comes to children and the fluidity of their self-identification.

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  4. I am beginning to see this as the logical outgrowth of the so-called Progressives denial of reality as being objective. The Progz have somehow become so powerful that it is now dangerous to oneself to point this out.

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    1. That’s exactly right. Get the -populace to the point where they are afraid to assert any opinion or state any fact; they can’t trust their own perceptions. Literally can’t believe their eyes. Not that long ago, you used to hear people say, “If you don’t know what gender you are, look in your pants!” The merest, most innocuous common sense—yet now, a few short years later, that comment would get you ‘canceled”.
      That’s brainwashing. Then when the brain is scoured clean the state can pour in whatever poisonous ideology it wants. And sheesh: if we’re at the point where, upon pain of social obloquy, we have to call Page a man and Jenner a woman, I’d say mission accomplished.

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      1. One wonders whether another ‘shiny, new thing’ will emerge to knock critical social justice and critical race theory, etc. off the pedestal. I hope so, pray so….

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      2. The truth already has but that is too true for people to accept. It is also hard to control people by asserting that freedom is found in seeking out the Truth.

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      3. The Governor of Florida has outlawed critical race theory in that state. “Outlawed” is probably the wrong word, but critical race theory will not be taught in Florida schools. Other states will follow. The backlash is coming.

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    2. “so-called Progressives”

      ST, since they’re actually *regressive* – and want us all to live tribally in ‘Plato’s cave’ – simulating in our own minds what’s real – (Blech!),what else shall we call them?

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  5. I do believe that some dysphorics have genuine medical disorders developed in the womb but I am concerned that all the publicity about 1% of the 1% is fast becoming a fashion trend and instead of researching ways to treat this safely, it is being celebrated as the next “cool” thing to do.

    As I had mentioned earlier, I am also horrified by the possible consequences of giving children high dosages of hormones. Estrogen has already been proven to be dangerous which is why breast cancer survivors are not encouraged to get pregnant. Also, anyone ever heard of “roid rage?”

    Jac is correct- the medical community has failed on all fronts here re: this topic.

    P.S. In the midst of a very serious discussion, I admit to giggling at Hyp’s reference to Bruce Jenner as “gelding himself.” My bad! ):

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  6. Jan (nee James) Morris , the travel writer, is the only case which ever gave me pause. He turned himself into a dumpy frumpy middle aged woman (unlike Jenner whose “Caitlin” manifestation looks 20-30 years younger than Bruce is.). And J still loved uh, their wife and they stayed together (although under British law they had to divorce so he could get the chop.) now, that’s determination.

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    1. I must take umbrage with the “Caitlin” observation only because I am a lover of athletes and he was one of my very favorites; perhaps up there with Tom Brady. This is what I don’t get about him- such a striking looking man with so many accomplishments and now he has incurred so much expense and pain to look like a homely woman.

      His “transition” just about killed me. I am admittedly hopelessly heterosexual so my tolerance level is low to non-existent for all this nonsense.

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      2. Thing is, for the vast majority of Americans, this “madness” is totally hypothetical, and many who aren’t paying attention aren’t aware of it at all, beyond some vague awareness of Bruce Jenner. I live in Massachusetts, a very liberal state. It has been years since I have encountered someone who was obviously gay. I am not sure that I have ever encountered a “trans” person. If I didn’t read about this stuff, I probably wouldn’t know about it.

        Most Americans have not gotten caught up in the madness. They are going about their lives, pretty much unaware. Things like Joe Biden’s recent executive order on girls’ sports will make them aware, but that is a very recent development.

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    2. I’m reminded, too, of Dr. Renee Richards – ne Dr. Richard Raskind – of tennis fame – in the mid-1970’s. Quiet, content, at home with traditional male-female dynamics, and 80-plus. He’s ill-at-ease with the fluidity of self-definition today, and the younger-and-younger ages at which irreversible decisions are made. I give him props, for sure. Here’s an article from 2019:

      https://www.si.com/tennis/2019/06/28/renee-richards-gender-identity-politics-transgender-where-are-they-now

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      1. I was able to read this article before it was taken down by Google. Navratilova was correct to call out the unfairness of transgenders competing in women’s tennis but she added “without re-constructive surgery,” so I’ll have to criticize her on that one. Cosmetic surgery and hormone shots do not determine gender and particular strengths/ advantages: chromosomes do. Libs and the uneducated think differently, but you can’t argue with scientific facts.

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      2. “but you can’t argue with scientific facts.”

        Today you can, Liz, b/c there are no ‘scientific facts’, since nothing is objectively *true* anymore. You’d still be *wrong*, but you can argue…. 😀

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      4. Just joshing, Liz; agree completely; this topsy-turviness is nauseating. I need motion-sickness pills to *read* anymore….Yikes! 😀

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  7. I just can’t stop thinking about Ellen Page’s breasts. Judy, you’re so right, it feels like a kick in the stomach. The closest thing I ever felt was when my tall, handsome, physically healthy nephew committed suicide. I found my self thinking, “if YOU didnt want your beautiful body, there are plenty who WOULD!” which I realize is probably the stupidest thought anybody ever entertained under those circumstances. (He was manic depressive, and I now know that is almost invariably a fatal disease.) But oh! The sheer, wanton, WASTE……

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    3. Sorry for your loss. I wonder if the therapy for manic depressives might be to get them to somehow focus on improving the lives of those less fortunate? I am also thinking that is the one and only thing that pulled me through my darkness.

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      1. Having a purpose in life is crucial to surviving depression. The problem is, in some cases, bi polar disorder-which is the new name for manic depression-can make it difficult or impossible to hold down a full time job. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness, that one is a burden to others, etc…and that is especially hard on men. I had a friend who has bi polar, but he makes his living as an artist. I suspect that he wouldn’t be able to make a living at anything else, not over the long term, anyway. He worked at all kinds of different jobs, and he was an incredibly hard worker, but then his mind would turn to mush, as he put it, and he just couldn’t deal. I can relate, because the same thing has happened to me many times. He always swore that he did his best artwork when he was the most depressed. I think it helps a great deal if you can find meaning in the suffering. I don’t know how anyone can get through it without a belief in God. The Catholic belief in redemptive suffering has helped me a great deal.

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      2. And that isn’t even taking into account that those with bi polar can have manic episodes where they may be delusional, believe things that are not true, believe that others are trying to kill them, etc…and that contributes to the suicide rate.

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  9. Some further thoughts on this thought provoking post:

    I just finished reading my commentary and noticed I had written earlier on another post that I do have several male gay friends and because they have the sense to avoid any public PDA, I am perfectly comfortable with our association. They’ve been good friends and I appreciate our relationship. They also have chosen to remain males and contrary to the infamous movie “La Cage aux Folles” they do not engage in the “drag queen” scene.

    What offends me (not on a social level), is that it has been thrown in my face. I have had a highly negative reaction and I adamantly believe it was an innately biological resistance (not moral/religious).

    It just felt creepy and wrong.

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  10. ST, re: your assertion – demonstrably true – that ‘America is too stupid to live ‘ I’d submit that it slept away with Ronaldus Maximus’s retirement from public life, and has existed zombie-like since. DJT attempted to reclaim the kidnapped swamp-hostage, but Amerika, the baleful, is prepping to emerge like a creature from “Alien” – somewhere, sometime….

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  11. I just read an article on Ben Shapiro’s site bout a father in Canada who is in jail on contempt of court for referring to his 14 year old daughter as “she”. A judge had ruled that she get testosterone at age 13, against the father’s wishes, and that using her birth name or female pronouns was to be considered “family violence”.
    Think it won’t happen here? You didn’t see Rand Paul’s exchange with Dr. . Clarabelle (that’s what I call Levine: an ugly clown with a female name) at his confirmation hearing. Paul asked whether he supports hormonal treatments for minors. There the mountebank is, under oath, before Congress, and he refused to answer! He said something like, that’s a very interesting question, Senator, and I’ll be happy to discuss it with you in your office. CTFO!!! I’m beginning to ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Rand, just yesterday he called out the duplicitous Dr. F.
    Paul 2024!

    But get this: some Southern Dem has introduced a Bill to ban giving any kind of sex change treatment, pharmaceutical or surgical, to people under 18! Bravo!! The rep is black, which is probably the only reason he hasn’t been run outta town yet. But think how stupid it is: people under 18 are considered incapable of giving consent even to one act of sexual intercourse, not even to flirting, not even to a mere hug or kiss!—yet competent to consent to surgical and medical interventions which will irrevocably alter the course of their entire lives?

    I’m trying to think of a different word than “insanity” to describe this paradox, but I can’t. Words fail me.

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    1. Especially because this is not an eyelift we’re discussing here. Years of dangerous drug treatments and painful and dreadfully expensive surgery are involved not to mention there are only a handful of surgeons in this country who are even capable of performing these procedures.

      Too experimental and no 10-15 year history on results.

      As an aside, we’re looking at $250k worth of surgery, including pre and post op treatment. Hmmm… I do wonder who is paying for this.

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  12. We need to get better at tolerance and letting live and let live. Someone who finds themselves with gender dysphoria lives a life of pain. Anyone of us can realise how fundamental gender is to our self-identity. For most humans, even thinking about whether we are a man or a woman, and what that means is probably something that never occurs to us. But for a very, very small number of people, there is a huge disconnect between the body they inhabit and the body they feel they should have. It isn’t a choice. For some, it is tolerable; for others it is not. Is this a mental illness? Maybe. Not necessarily. A society that looks at gender identity as purely male/female and that regards self-expression that blurs those boundaries as threatening or hateful or sinful sets up a dynamic of opposition that is dehumanising for the individual that is unable to mentally or emotionally fit into that male/female dynamic. The vast majority of people in society are binary. A minuscule fraction of us can’t accept the binary because it negates our feelings about ourselves. Trying to negotiate our way through society with these feelings is challenging and often soul-destroying. We didn’t make the choice. We were born this way. I suspect that a lot of non-binary people would never feel as strong a desire to transition if the existence of the binary “nature” of our society was not so aggressively thrown back at us–there is casual violence present everywhere. Suicide rates amongst trans people and non-binary are substantially higher than for the population at large because of this. How is that a positive reflection on society? This discussion shouldn’t be political. Tolerance is the mark of a sophisticated society. We shouldn’t care so much about expressions of gender. Instead, we should focus our energies on figuring out ways to co-exist, to tolerate and respect each other. Just as there is no place in society for racism, sexism, discrimination based on economics, creed, or anything else, so too should we take care with gender. Let’s use our energy to find acceptable compromise, possible workarounds that can be made to work for all. Bathroom use, sports participation have become flash points for binary people…and in truth for non-binary people these issues are trivial compared to what we really think about. I am sure that those issues can be worked out in ways that are satisfactory to all reasonable people. And in the end whether Caitlin or Ellen have made the right choices, for themselves or for society, it is not really appropriate to judge. Let us just hope that they have taken steps in their lives that allow them to be happier people and more able to make the people around them happy. In my own life I made a choice to not transition. I am not a cross-dresser in the traditional sense, ie. I don’t get aroused by it, I don’t do it to “pass”, but I do it. My mother didn’t make me this way. I wasn’t abused. I’m not gay. Not a day of my life has passed, however, that I have not felt pain at inhabiting a male body. It may be hard to understand, but it’s real, and ironic considering I was a model as a teen and young adult. I love my wife above anything in the world, being a father to my children has been the most fulfilling part of my life. But I also know that the intensity of my love for my wife is shaped deeply and completely by the fact that I identify as non-binary, ditto my respect for women. I also know that my career success has been built on an ability to empathise and understand the people I work with, and in my case, I have no doubt where that comes from. I also know, however, that were we to live in a society that did not make alternative forms of gender expression so toxic, that I would be a much happier person, and probably a better citizen. Is tolerance and making an effort to get along and understand one another too much to ask?

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    1. Hello, girlieboy69, and welcome 🙂 Tolerance and compassion are not too much to ask. When people start undergoing surgery to remove healthy body parts, many of us wonder if supporting that choice is really the compassionate thing to do. Most children with gender dysphoria will outgrow it if they are simply left alone, and studies show that adults who transition continue to suffer the same problems they had before they transitioned. You say that gender dysphoria is not a mental illness, I suspect that it is, and I dont mean that as a slur. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 20 years ago. It has been difficult, but I am very thankful that the people around me didnt always validate my thoughts and feelings. Agreeing with everything someone says and giving them everything they want is not necessarily compassion.

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      1. Hi Judy. Thank you for your message. Dysphoria is most likely a mental illness. I agree with you that it is hard to know what taking the most compassionate path is. Surely it must be to help the individual make the choice that they wish to make because they feel it is best for them, and to do so without stigma or judgement. With children it is at its most delicate. If transition is the “right” choice for someone, the chances of them being able to go onto a life and fit into society is greatly enhanced by stopping puberty…but a child is not equipped to make those choices. When I was growing up, the level of awareness of non-binary issues was non-existent, and by the time I knew enough about what I was feeling to put a name to it, transition for me would have meant that I would go from being an attractive man to a “freak” in the eyes of others was more powerful than my need to transition. But had I grown up in today’s world, I believe that I would have had the tools to make a better choice. For me. It is a terrible affliction and one that I spent years in therapy trying to overcome. In the end, I learned to love being “messed up” in this way, and I wouldn’t trade my dysphoria for anything, even though it hurts.

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      2. I hear you, but people change their minds all the time, and our minds change us all the time. I dont want to judge or stigmatize anyone, I just dont want to support an irreversible choice that the person may well live to regret.

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  13. Hi Judy…you are so right to feel for someone who regrets after. But also consider that the main source of regret stems when someone finds that the grass is not greener on the other side. What makes it so? How hard life is. For an MTF who can pass as female, just to experience life as a woman means to experience the discrimination that women experience. That can be a rude awakening for some. For an MTF that does not pass there is massive social stigma that is experienced every day. People will look at her as a “freak” or patently mis-pronoun her. For an MTF who can pass, while she may slide through daily life, she must still face that many potential love partners will turn away from her when they discover she is trans. These obstacles are social, and are a reflection of an intolerant society. I agree with you it is tragic for someone to take what can only be one of the most difficult steps there is, only to find they regret it afterwards. But how much of that regret is caused because of discrimination and an unjust society? If we work on tolerance above all else, where someone sits on the gender spectrum won’t matter so much anymore, and more people will be okay with both their starting point and their ending point. Thank you for allowing this conversation to take place in a positive way.

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    1. Thank you, girlieboy69. I disagree with you about the basic nature of our society. You say that women experience discrimination. I am a woman. I have never perceived being discriminated against, and in many situations, women receive preferential treatment. America is one of the most tolerant, live and let live places this world has ever seen. People have been cross dressing for as long as I can remember-I am 50-and until fairly recently, no one thought anything of it. No one thought anything of it until men who feel that they are women started demanding to use women’s rest rooms.There is also the fact that some in the transgender community want criminal charges brought against those who use language they disagree with. And, the most serious issue, in my view, is that parental rights are often not being respected when it comes to children who experience gender dysphoria. 60-90% of kids who experience gender dysphoria will outgrow it, but most in the transgender community refuse to acknowledge that.

      Most Americans are very loving and tolerant people, but the love and the tolerance has to go both ways. The way many in the trans community are acting seems heavy handed to me-and when they start talking about putting kids on hormones without parental consent, forget it. People get very angry when you try to come between them and their kids. That has nothing to do with hate or intolerance, it’s natural to want to protect one’s children.

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  14. It is very difficult. A government has no place between a parent and a child unless the child’s welfare and well-being are at stake. This is most likely the crux of the argument. Trans people will believe that they understand what that child is going through, and parents will believe it is none of their business. Education, communication, knowledge, and most likely professional help in the form of trans-aware therapy are the least traumatic path forward for families–should that be enshrined in law, not for me. But I feel for the child who is genuinely trans and is stuck in a family unit that does not allow the discussion to take place. Putting puberty on hold is a low-risk solution that allows a child to reach the age of maturity before deciding, and it strikes me that getting a child to make the choice at that age is a more just and sensible path.

    Cross-dressing is a separate issue altogether, and has little to do with trans people–it is a fetish. Being trans is an existential crisis. Again, thank you for providing a platform for this topical issue.

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    1. “Putting puberty on hold is a low-risk solution”

      Giving kids hormones is not low risk, especially because it is a very recent thing and we just don’t know what the long term affects are. I feel like these kids are being used as guinea pigs, and it is very disturbing. Especially when most will outgrow gender dysphoria. I feel for any child who cannot turn to his parents for any reason, but government and society cannot solve every problem.

      Thank you for engaging this difficult topic in such a respectful way 🙂

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      1. You are correct, giving them hormones is not low risk, because their effects can be irreversible. Giving hormone blockers, on the other hand, is low risk because it is reversible, and it allows the delay of puberty until the child reaches an age where an adult decision can be made. It is the only humane approach in cases of dysphoria.

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      2. No, it isn’t the only humane approach. Most children who experience gender dysphoria will outgrow it. Many or most will outgrow it when they reach puberty. To prevent them from reaching puberty is not the way to help them make an adult decision, and besides all of that, we don’t know what the long term effects of hormone blockers are.

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