Hi Tara :)

My cousin Tara was killed in 9/11 at the age of 30. I saw her in a dream last night. It was a strange dream, as many dreams are: my father was still alive, and I am pretty sure that Robin was still alive too. I don’t remember Robin being in the dream, although he might have been? I have forgotten much of it, or most of it. The only thing I remember is being in my parents’ house, and being totally preoccupied with trying to take care of them both. Brad Pitt-yes, I am serious-was right by my side, helping me every step of the way, but I was barely aware of his existence. I was just totally focused on my parents. I knew that Brad Pitt was right there helping me, but he never said anything and I didn’t pay any attention to him. I feel bad about this. In my defense, in the dream, I was feeling kind of overwhelmed, like I could barely keep up. I am aware that Brad Pitt may well have been a symbol for Robin. I hope that I treated Robin better in real life than I treated Brad Pitt in that dream. That is all I can say.

Somewhere, in the midst of all of this, my cousin Tara made an appearance. She was sitting in a chair in my parents’ kitchen. She didn’t say anything, she was just looking at me intently and smiling. In the dream, I had no memory of 9/11, and no memory of Tara ever dying, so I didn’t pay that much attention to her either, and her presence did not seem strange to me. Tara was always so beautiful-she was black Irish, with dark hair, brown eyes, and dark skin-but in the dream, she was more beautiful than I had ever seen her. She was totally focused on me, she wasn’t paying attention to anyone else, and she was just smiling and smiling and smiling at me, and upon me.

I feel like Tara was waving at me from afar. This post is my way of waving back.