Says it All:

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“For this alone on Death I wreak

The wrath that garners in my heart:

He placed our lives so far apart

We cannot hear each other speak.”

—Tennyson, from In MEMORIAM A.H.H

I hereby express my eternal gratitude to my mother, for whom saying “I love you” was not a declaration reserved for rare or momentous occasions, it was an everyday benediction. Sometimes we were impatient with it. But she was right: because after all, we never know when, if ever, we will see anyone again in this vale of tears. Someone who leaves home in the morning on a quotidian, oft-repeated journey may never come home again. It’s just de fac’ .

And how many times a day, thinking of my belovèd dead, do I think or even say those words? Usually, thanks to my mother, I don’t have to feel regret that I didn’t say them, or not enough, while the person was here with me.
No, I did say it. But I still am angry that I can’t say it to them NOW, again.

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Published by Hypatia

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14 thoughts on “Says it All:”

  1. Not to worry, Hyp, Jesus wept, too, and wrested Lazarus from Death’s grip, for the sake of his sisters’ immediate needs in bereavement and as a foretaste of Death’s ultimate defeat. HUGS ❤

    Btw, keep saying to them all that you want to say; I do it daily, all the time.

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    1. I know you do,dear Nanda! And I know you know how painful it is that we can no longer say the words to the people we love. When that time comes, our ONLY consolation is that we never missed a chance to say it.

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      1. Mom Phyllis, when my youngest brother died in a car accident, got all of us sibs into the habit of ending every visit or phone call with family with ILY, just in case….

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      2. This is so important. Robin and I often told each other that we loved each other, but I never made it a point to make sure that I always said it. I cannot remember if I told him that I loved him the last time I saw him alive. I very well might have, but then again, I very well might not have. Same thing with giving him a kiss before leaving the house: it was something I often did, but I didn’t make it a point to always do it. Can’t remember if I kissed him that day. This haunts me.

        Make it a point to always tell your loved ones that you love them.

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  3. My Lisu friend’s mom said recently upon hearing of someone’s passing, “She died easy.” It seems that some people give up the ghost easier than others, oui?

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