Gone With The Wind

Remember the 90s? I spent the latter part of that decade writing a manifesto against feminism, which, obviously, I never published. At that time, I really seriously believed that abortion and modern feminism were the only real problems we had or would have in America. I was young, I was thin, the country was at peace, and my only problem was that I wanted to be a housewife. It seemed like all men or almost all men wanted to be married to a career woman. I was extremely upset about that, hence, the manifesto. I remember thinking that feminism may has possibly ruined my life, but I never thought that feminism had ruined the world, or that it could. My plan was to try to talk people out of feminism, and in my mind, if people could be talked out of it, then everything would have been totally perfect. Other than feminism, the world at that time, to me, was perfect. So perfect, that I didn’t even think about it: I took it for granted that America was and always would be a glorious, beautiful, peaceful country.

Then, 9/11 happened. My cousin Tara was on the first plane. In an instant, the beautiful glorious peaceful world I had always lived in came crashing down. The life I had known was totally destroyed, and I knew it, but again, I never believed that 9/11 would destroy the world. I remember at the time being thankful that Bush was president. I believed at that time that America was in good hands. Looking back, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry: how could anyone, much less me, believe that any country is in good hands with the Bush family in charge? But, that was what I believed, and at that time, the Bush family really was preferable to the alternative. I took it for granted that in a hundred years, Americans would remember 9/11 in a similar way to how we remember the Titanic. 9/11 was obviously much bigger: 9/11 was an attack which led to a war, so obviously it was a more profound national event than the Titanic, but all in all, I figured that in 100 years, 9/11 would basically be ancient history. I believed that those in charge wanted to stop Islamic terrorism, and that sooner or later, one way or another, they would. I trusted the people in charge.

I don’t remember when I first started hearing about the people who say that 9/11 was an inside job. I do remember, a year or so before Robin died, he and I decided to watch a truther documentary one night. Apparently, there are 3000 professional architects and engineers who are demanding another investigation into 9/11? I have forgotten everything that was in that documentary. All I remember is that by the end of it, the theories being presented seemed totally plausible. So much so, that it kind of sent both of our minds reeling. At the end, Robin and I looked at each other wide eyed. He spoke for both of us when he said, “No, I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that the people running America could be so evil.” I nodded in agreement. We never spoke of it again.

When I think of both Robin and my Father, I feel like world they inhabited, that I am looking back on, was a fairy tale world. Yes, bad things happened, but in the final analysis, we trusted those in charge to do their best. For a long time, I naturally assumed that the people who covered up Benghazi were covering up their own incompetence. I was always against abortion, but I believed that deep down, most professionals in the abortion industry really did care about women. In other words, I guess you could say, that I believed that most people are good-not perfect, obviously, but basically good. I still believe that most people are good, but the way I view the rich and powerful-the ruling class, as Simon would call them, has changed.

Was 9/11 an inside job? I don’t know. Maybe. Is the CIA running a pedophile ring? I don’t know. Maybe. Did they sit by and do nothing during Benghazi because the Ambassador knew too much? Probably. Have most Hollywood actors and mainstream “journalists” sold their souls to the devil? Yes. Are they literally involved in child sacrifice? I don’t know. Maybe, and this could go on and on and on. Less than 5 years ago, I believed that the ruling class was made up of flawed human beings who were basically decent and doing their best for America. Today, I know that large numbers of them, possibly most of them, are unspeakably evil, and there is no depravity that they are not capable of. It’s one thing to view those in power with suspicion, but this goes far beyond suspicion. The American ruling class have totally discredited themselves. They are, as they would say in the military, totally unfit to serve. This cannot go on.