Throw Me A Lifeline?

Today my brother left our childhood home for his annual sojourn south. Before he did, he gave me a paperweight, a beautiful glass orb that looks like..I dk, an undersea terrarium? A microscopic world? which our sister, now dead 1 year 10 months, had given him.
Why not keep it to remember her by, I asked? He said, even if I live another 5 years, people will already have forgotten who I was.

When I buried her, I was standing on my own grave. “I will lay me down beside my sister”. All day long I have been reciting those words like a mantra, although I don’t WANT to.

John Updike wrote a poem with the line, “Earth wants me, it shall have me…” yes, Earth lent me some clay, Earth wants it back; at this point she isn’t exactly dunning me for it,, just, kinda , politely clearing her throat occasionally. You are on borrowed time. You are mаde of borrowed matter. So, whenever it’s quite convenient for you…relinquish. It won’t hurt. It’s only right.

I don’t want that. Like Proserpina, like Euridice, I want to stay here, on top of the clay, in the sun!

you will help me, my dear cyber friends or cyber strangers, whichever….you will help me because you may at some point need my help.

Tell me Earth can wait.