Today I received a belated birthday gift from someone who was once my oldest and dearest friend. We go all the way back to middle school, shared many adventures and got into a whole lot of trouble together. In other words, we shared the bond.
Three months ago, we were chatting (she still lives in Michigan) and I casually brought up Trump, asking how he pulled off that state in 2016 by 10,000 votes and how she was enjoying living under the rule of Führer Gretchen Whitmer. She exploded, called me a fascist and hung the phone up in my face.
Guess she’s a Democrat and I should have known it- white suburban housewife- not DJT’s most supportive demographic.
Never heard a word back from her until this package arrived in the mail today. I sent it back enclosed with this note:
“Appreciated the birthday gifts but would have valued an apology more. I don’t hang up on longtime friends and yes, I do take it personally. On a political level, I also won’t have my First Amendment rights disrespected so am returning this box.”
I asked my husband to look at my note and his response?
“People like this always expect to get by with unacceptable behavior; this should be a lesson however difficult for the both of you.”
Thoughts anyone?
ST UnWoked & UnVaxxed! 
I am so sorry that this happened to you! You did the right thing. You left the door open for an apology, but made it clear that an apology would be required. It sounds like she knows that she was wrong, but doesn’t want to admit it, and was hoping that you wouldn’t mention it. Good for you for addressing the issue directly.
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Thanks Judy. I was upset, but thought I needed to do this.
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You did need to do this. Your friend actually sounds better than many Trump haters. The fact that she sent a gift is a sign of hope, and maybe she will think about it some more and realize that you are right.
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As you know I i lost all my Bryn Mawr College friends at one blow. I wrote, but didn’t send, a long Jeremiad To and about them. Kudos to you for having the guts to send it. Screw all these A-holes!
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Millennials get a bad rap for intolerance, but it started a long time ago. From what I can tell, most older democrats are gulity as well. Except for one of my Mom’s oldest friends: she hates Trump, and she is very aware that we love him, and she couldn’t care less about our politics, and we couldn’t care less about her politics. She is a gem, and the best friend you could ever have, but from what I can tell, she is a rare bird.
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Of course you’re right Hyp; I need to learn to accept and/or ignore the “new” world in which we live.
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Is it really a new world? I am not sure. In college, I did theater in Alaska, a conservative area, but theater, so most of the people I knew were liberals. I rarely spoke about politics with any of them. I would either quietly state that I was a pro-life conservative, and leave it at that, or often, I wouldn’t say anything-but I wouldn’t agree with them. I would just remain silent. Most of them, especially the other young women, kept me very much at arm’s length. The were polite, but very cool.
Of course, there is no way of knowing for sure if politics was the reason, but 30 years later, their facebook pages reveal that they are all on board with antifa and blm. At least one of them has disowned her family because they disagree with her about politics. I always knew that they were liberals, but I had no clue how radical they really were until very recently.
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Oy!
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In many ways, the world we live in now may be preferable: at least now, we all know where we stand. I never cared about anyone’s politics, and never made decisions on whom to be friends with based on politics. I made the mistake of assuming that other people were like me in that respect. I really wish that the door to the arts building had just had a big sign on it saying “Conservatives enter at their own risk.” It would have saved me a lot of grief.
It is always better to know what is what and who is who. I would take the open hostility of now over the cool unspoken unfriendliness of then every time.
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Just one more question for tomorrow because I know it’s late:
How in the hell does Trump manage to create such vitriol among friends and family and everyone? I guess I’m blinded by the fact that I agree with his politics, admire the business acumen AND find him highly entertaining as well.
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“How does Trump manage to create such vitriol” AND how does he create such adulation? At the rallies, the crowds have taken yo chanting “WE.LOVE,YOU!” Never in my life have I heard THAT before! I feel it myself: a couple of times a day, when I hear a sound bite or see a blurb about him, I think, “I love that guy!” I didn’t set out to feel that way, never have before.
I think the hatred has something to do with a cultural standard that we never thought much about before: you’re supposed to pretend and display modesty and humility No matter how egomaniacal you really are. “Pride comets before a fall”. “God be merciful to me, a sinner” Look at Clinton “the man from Hope”. Obama, “yes we CAN”: the cultural echoes there are The Little Engine That Could, the tortoise and the hare, the ant and the rubber plant. Like: you aren’t supposed to win unless it appeared to everyone that you couldNt possibly, and you do it by silent persistence, not by bragging about your prowess. ( That’s what the hare does in the fable! He’s supposed to go down to a humiliating defeat! )
I think maybe people like us have been silently rooting for the hare all along! Does this make any sense, Simon and the Ettes? Sometimes the race IS to the swift, and the battle to the strong!
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Good for you, Liz! You’ve grown apart; sometimes clean breaks are best. I’m sorry to see it, though. Re: antipathy toward DJT…I heard someone say on All Marine Radio the other day: “He’s a New Yorker. That’s how they are, rough edges and all – they don’t care.”
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He is a true New Yorker and misunderstood by many.
Good point, N!
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So-called Progressivism is now a full-blown cult. Non-believers are to be shunned until forced to take the leap of faith or remain as cast outs and deplorables, forever outsiders. It is a bit like Islam but without all the suicidal maniacs (so far).
Piggy backing off of Hypatia here:
Revelations 13:17
King James Bible
And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
If and when the Progs can make it so, one will not be able to legally barter without the state’s mark/ approval.
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We already can’t! 😷
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Heard a word or several about the nihilistic-atheistic Godless society we’re living through, at Sunday morning Mass. (I took you all with me, of course.) Keeping/living the faith may get harder – whether in God or in a constitutional republic – but we’re not doing it alone. Amen. 🙏
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“I think the hatred has something to do with a cultural standard that we never thought much about before: you’re supposed to pretend and display modesty and humility No matter how egomaniacal you really are.”
Rethinking this today, I believe you nailed it and I do appreciate you passing such an obvious observation along to me. I was raised differently; we were taught to emulate and admire “Trump types” not to disdain them!
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