The Emperor’s New Mask

America has gone insane.

Yeah, I know you’re thinking “Tell us sump’n we don’t know!”

Okay: masks don’t work! Or did you know that? Think about it: we’re,
talkin’ microbes here. When you suck in air, which is tortuously hard to do wearing even one of those party-favor lite paper masks, the virus is tiny enuf to ride in with it, Duh!(if that’s not offensive). The “experts” pretty much admitted that from the beginning.

Oh, but now we’re ordered to wear ‘em to protect other people!

Well, y’see, when you breathe out, your breath doesn’t stay inside your mask. It comes out around the edges. That’s the reason your sunglasses get fogged up. Du—-sorry! Old habits die hard.

I heard my BMD joking that he now tells people he has a new “magic” mask. Oh, yeah! You mean you don’t have one yet?

So it occurred to me that it’d be really funny to go into a store bare-faced, and claim, if accosted, that I’m wearing an invisible mask! Oh yeah, you mean you havent heard about those? Trump just okay’ed ‘em, they’re the most effective way to,ward off the Invisible Enemy! Don’t believe me? Think about it: y’never see Drs. Birx and Fauci wearing masks, do ya? That’s what you think, you poor chump: they’ve had these invisible masks all along!

I think this could be a win-win.

People can order them from Amazon, which can ship out empty boxes with a caveat to return the merchandise if any part of it should be visible.

CVS can put an empty rack prominently in the front of the store: Invisible mask! Please take one, as a free service to our valued customers. We care!

Are you thinking, yeah, very funny, (I’m hoping for at least that😜) but of course there’s no way, people aren’t that cowed, that stupid?

I disagree. Think back to….Valentine’s Day 2020.

Would you ever have believed it if you had been told then what this country would look like by May?

Nah. I think the Invisible Mask meme has a real good chance of going, uh, viral.