Things I Don’t Get

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I don’t get feminism. 🙂

Feminism is actually what led me to join L1. I had been just lurking and reading the stuff on the front page, but one day someone-I am pretty sure but not totally certain that it was Mollie Hemingway-did a post that I could not remain silent about. This post was a about a single young man who wrote to some advice columnist stating that he wanted his future wife, whom he had not yet met, to stay at home and be a housewife. He was asking for advice about how to broach this topic with the women he dated. The advice columnist lambasted him for being an agent of the patriarchy, and some sort of internet mob essentially lynched him. Whoever the author of the post was came to the defense of this young man, and knowing that L1 sold itself as a conservative site, I fully expected those commenting to be supportive of him as well, and I am sure that some of them were-to be fair, I cannot remember the exact ratio of those who supported him versus those who didn’t, but the amount of opposition to him on L1-a supposedly conservative site-was very surprising to me. I didn’t want to remain silent while he was being attacked, so I joined, and I joined for the express purpose of engaging in that particular conversation.

The main “conservative” attacking this poor guy on L1 was a woman who was also one of the most popular members, with tons of followers. She stated that it was, in her words “Not ok” for any man, even just one, to express a preference for a wife who stayed home. I asked her if it was ok for a man to prefer that his wife work: of course, that was fine with her. She also got in a few snide remarks about women who want to stay home. We were made to understand that her views were totally legit conservatism because she was, she said, a devout Catholic and she had forgotten more about Catholicism than any of us could ever begin to know. I haven’t checked in a while, but last time I checked, she is still a member and a lot of people are still buying her persona as a Catholic intellectual: I am sure that she buys it too, probably more than anyone.

I didn’t get married until age 36, and I never had children. I am not and have never been a poster child for tradition. I am pro-life, but if you leave abortion out of it, if modern feminism was really what it has always claimed to be, I wouldn’t waste time thinking about it. If modern feminists really supported freedom, and if they were genuinely supportive of whatever women wanted to do, great, no problem. But they clearly aren’t, and they never have been.

When she was asked in an interview by Betty Friedan about women who stay home to raise their children, Simone de Beauvoir said: “No, we don’t believe that any woman should have this choice. No woman should be authorised to stay at home to bring up her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.”

And anyone, male or female, who defies feminists will be faced with the same lynch mob as the guy described at the beginning of this post: men who want their wives to stay home are, we are told, tyrants, and women who want to stay home are worse than tyrants. Feminists are here to teach us the meaning of love, and they will destroy any dissenters. Because they love people so much.

If I hadn’t lived through this and seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it possible that so many people could fall for something like this. I understand that way back when, there was a great deal of pressure to marry young, and some women were frustrated by lack of career opportunities: I am not saying that everything was perfect back then. A certain amount of loosening up and adjusting was in order, but how can someone like Simone de Beauvoir be taken seriously by anyone? How can a woman who claims to be a devout Catholic say pretty much the same thing that de Beauvoir said, and be taken seriously by conservatives?

How can people be so accepting of authoritarianism?

Published by Judy Campbell

Published

43 thoughts on “Things I Don’t Get”

  1. I think feminism has taken a turn for the worse but on the side of males!

    Most couples understand that a two income family is economically necessary but I just got off a site (that will remain undisclosed) after writing about the devastating effect the coronavirus is having on the stock market. My husband was a professional trader on Wall Street for 20 years and after selling my business, he took me under his tutelage and we have been working together privately for 22 years.

    Between the two of us we have 42 years of experience in the market yet I was accosted by the following a**holes:
    1. One who tries to intimidate everyone with indecipherable graphs and irrelevant economic theories that mean little but are meant to impress. He doesn’t, to my knowledge, invest.
    2. A complete illiterate who uses insults and patronizing remarks and again, doesn’t have any skin in the game.
    3. A doctor who is altogether impressed with his degree but loves to insult women with strong points of view who actually know of what they speak. And, you guessed it, he’s never invested a dime in the market but feels compelled to pick apart EVERY SINGLE observation I make with nothing but snark.

    I’m glad you posted this JaC just when you did because I’m close to tears. Let me just reiterate how grateful I am for this site and the ability to laugh and blow off steam.

    Cheers to you all.

    Liked by 3 people

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    2. Liz, I would admonish you not to cast your pearls before swine but it can be so much fun; and besides, I did it too for years before they exiled me to the dark side of the moon.

      Liked by 3 people

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    4. I think your position on cashing out and buying back-in once the market trend is generally north again is the only rational choice while there are so many unknown unknowns (to borrow from SecDef Rumsfeld) regarding the coronavirus-19 (whatevs’). Why it is not obvious to everybody is still a mystery but this is no common flu.

      Good luck with day-trading! Been there done that.

      Liked by 1 person

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    1. LOL 🙂 I refuse to like a comment that says Down with the Patriarchy! 🙂 The whole point of this post was to support the patriarchy. You are the patriarchy. I support you. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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  4. In the meantime, I did not intend to hijack JaC’s post so I want to comment on her concerns. Last time I visited my brother in L.A. the new “status symbol” was to have a stay at home wife who didn’t need to work to support the family finances. My sister-in-law had three kids in grades 6-12 then and received an administrative job offer to work in their school on their schedule. One of the best perks, because it was private, was free tuition. She turned it down even though she volunteered constantly.

    So Hollywood …

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    1. This is good news! I am totally cool with rich women who don’t work 🙂 And I think I might (?) understand why your sister in law prefers to volunteer. As long as she is a volunteer, if she gets sick or if one of her kids gets sick, it’s much easier to have a flexible schedule as a volunteer than it is when you are a paid employee, and with three kids, that is a serious concern.

      When it comes to women in lower income brackets, whether it really pays to work can depend greatly on many factors: I read that the average cost of full time childcare in Maryland is $35,000 a year. For many people, that in itself would wipe out or mostly wipe out whatever money the wife made. A two income family isn’t always the best financial choice, even for lower class people.

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  5. Off-topic but I don’t understand why my golf game is so much better when I ‘score’ a young and sexy Candi. How mysteries and powerful is your sex.

    I am reminded of a Costa Rican expression: “A pair of tits pulls more than a team of oxen.” It is usually spoken in Spanish. This is merely my interpretation na

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. “How mysteries and powerful is your sex.”

      Thank you. And women are far more powerful when we are nice to men. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Of course, no one is always sweetness and light, but feminists are on principle opposed to being nice to men. WTF? 🙂

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      1. I think in the real world JaC- outside the MSM reports- women really do like men. I always did and so did my friends. My concern is that men take far too much stock in what they hear on Twitter or the Internet.

        Let’s take our pal ST for example. Would the world of “fake news” believe for one minute that he gets by with all that he does and is actually encouraged by many of us??? 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

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      2. “My concern is that men take far too much stock in what they hear on Twitter or the Internet.”

        Not to mention what they are taught in school. Little boys and little girls are being indoctrinated with this garbage, and they don’t have the life experience to know that it is garbage.

        Liked by 3 people

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  8. This is good news! I am totally cool with rich women who don’t work

    Well, I wouldn’t refer to them as “rich.” By the time the first two were in college, my father had to pick up the tab for the youngest. Private school in LA is $20-25k a year! In the meantime, if she had worked, they would have saved enough money to at least get one through college without parental help and as I mentioned, she would have been working alongside her children and setting a good example. No job is more ideal than that!

    One of my nephews cracked me up when he commented, “Why is she volunteering to do work she could be paid for?” I had to respond, “J, you really are my long lost child.”

    We giggled.

    Liked by 3 people

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  9. Why do you love me and (most) men hate me?

    I’ve done some research on this topic with a couple of guys I like over at another site. I could not get a straight answer but I received the impression that you shock them. What’s interesting is that women around here don’t get so verklempt. This continues to puzzle me but I’d guess that you are so open and honest about your incorrigible behavior, we can accept it. I think what women despise the most is deceit. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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  10. Let’s take our pal ST for example. Would the world of “fake news” believe for one minute that he gets by with all that he does and is actually encouraged by many of us??? 🙂

    Please explain for those of us in the back of the classroom, ma’am.

    Liked by 2 people

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  11. What I meant is that you’d be excoriated by the #metoo crowd for sharing some of the details of your ahem… personal life so frankly with us sensitive, beleaguered women and “degrading” the fairer sex. Ha!

    Nobody has a sense of humor anymore. I was reading one of your posts to someone and I couldn’t finish it because I was laughing so hard. He started laughing just because I couldn’t stop. 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

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